Days blend together. I drive the same roads. I follow the same schedule. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of comfort to be found in this rhythm. Predictable is manageable and repeatable. On the other hand, though, not venturing out into new things tends to make everything stale. I have no new surfaces off of which to bounce ideas. No new inspiration. Nothing new to reflect on or mull in my mind with the wide-eyed excitement that comes with novel thoughts. Summer is here just in time to mix things up and to send me out to play and explore.
I had an amazing dream the other night. I was in a desert with my husband and our kids and the light was a perfect pinky-gold. It looked like we were walking around inside of an Instagram filter! Each of us had a huge bunch of colorful balloons and we were running over the dry and cracked ground with our bundles and laughing. As we let the balloons go and watched them rise slowly into the sky, I felt more carefree and happy than I have in a long time. The only thing on my mind was that moment- the laughing and the sweet light and the balloons. Nothing was inching its way into the "what is next on my list" slot in my brain. Simplicity.
The dream created a strong craving in my soul to have more moments like that. To spend more of my time playing instead of to-do-ing.
So, what am I doing now? I am planning ahead for summer. Fun stuff, projects, camping trips. I also have what some might call a "summer bucket list" but I don't really care for that name as it implies that I will be "kicking the bucket" at the end of the summer. No, I like to think of this more of a manifesto of sorts. Or, at the very least, just a list of things that I want to do this summer.
My summer manifesto:
I loved this book: Mile Markers: The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run by Kristin Armstrong
This quote from the book captures a little piece of what spoke so loudly to me from its pages. I love the shift in my thoughts about running that this simple paragraph gave me:
"There is a restless place inside me, and if I don't intentionally access and relieve it, it groans at me, distracting me. There are too many thoughts in my head, too many feelings in my heart, too many things I want to do and say- and if I'm not careful, I can get overwhelmed with myself. Running restores my equilibrium, quiets the noise within, reprioritizes my list, repairs my state of gratitude, and returns me to myself, but a better version, nice and roomy in my own skin."I will be swimming, biking, and running this summer too. So far I have one 5k run and one sprint distance triathlon on my race calendar and there are a couple more races that I'm considering. This is how I access and relieve my restlessness too!
A little bit of my summer reading list:
- The Rose Garden by Susanna Kearsley
- Imagine: How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer
- Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
- Charlotte Au Chocolat: Memories of a Restaurant Girlhood by Charlotte Silver
Do you keep a summer reading list? What are you planning to read this year?
While I'm in summertime mode, while I'm reading fiction and dipping my toes in the ocean, I will likely be blogging less. I will share highlights and memorable moments here and there but I'll be taking the pressure off of myself to write for the sake of frequency. I will check in on Twitter and Facebook a little more often and goodness knows that I'll be pinning things on Pinterest!
This is a summer vacation of sorts for me and this kind of unplugging is something that I don't do well or often. I need to focus on my kids and their summer without the sound of my voice saying, "just a minute. Hold on a second. Give me five minutes, please." I need to thin the chatter in my brain that constantly urges me to have good ideas. I need to exist, moment to moment, in my world in this season of downtime. I need time to read and daydream and garden; time to watch honeybees at work with my boys; time to sip cold water with strawberries and mint; time to draw crazy pictures with brightly colored markers that make my kids giggle; and time to gather with friends and talk about good juicy things until it is way too late to still be awake.